I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
