Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
