So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
