By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
