so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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