Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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