i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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