What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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