she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!