Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
