So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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