We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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