She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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