you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
