i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
