then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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