MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
being pregnant is like rehab
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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