If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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