Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
