Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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