Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
