i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Randomize
