Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I will pee on everything he values.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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