Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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