I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize