i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
