I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
