her vagine was all disorganized.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
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Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
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I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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