that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
