Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
