Don't make out with my wife yet
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
