So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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