I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
