Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
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