omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
