Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
