Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
