Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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