Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
