i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
