If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
