thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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