Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
