was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
