There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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