clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
