The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize