I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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