You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize