you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
