im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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