Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize