i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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