God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
