does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
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i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
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someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
tell me about the fingering
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