Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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