I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
